Who's in your circle?

Line makers are focussed on achieving their own goals and advancing their own careers, often at the expense of others. In contrast, circle makers are focused on creating a sense of community and supporting everyone within that community. Circle makers prioritise the well-being of the group over their own individual success.

With this in mind we have created our own Leaders Circle where we gather leaders together to do the aforementioned. One of the things that I love about this group is the encouragement that people give each other, and I’ve been reflecting on this, and again I’m drawn to the realisation of the importance of journeying with others.

I don’t think life was ever meant to be done alone. The richness that good, deep quality relationships bring us is essential to a cultivate a life well lived. I think it’s possible to go without many things in this life and still be content and happy, but friendship is one I just don’t think we can forfeit.It was the great philosopher Epicurus who believed that friendship provided security and advantages that nothing else could achieve.

Shared experiences and stories, a listening ear, supportive encouragement, wise advice and acceptance, all thrown in together with a giant side order of fun and laughter, have proved invaluable, not just for my leadership but my life! I treasure my friendships more than anything, for it’s these that have anchored me, challenged me and ultimately loved me into being.

If anyone is to thrive in their leadership, I would argue that they need a circle of friends who can help them ascertain the way of wisdom, and form good judgement.

Our own personal judgements can be misinformed or full of bias - friends help to bring a fresh perspective. This can be attributed to decisions that we need to make, projects we’re working on, problems we’re facing or beliefs about ourselves.

True friends will be truthful. They help us to weigh up both criticism and praise that others might give to us - we can be quick to dismiss criticism when actually there may be some truth there that a trusted friend can help us realise, or we might go to the other extreme and be overly self-critical and a friend will provide the encouragement we need. Likewise with praise, we can at times overestimate our abilities or underestimate them - friends point us towards the reality.

I think many of us will be able to identify with author and theologian C. S. Lewis, when he says “friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another ‘What! You too? I thought that no-one but myself …’” There is something extremely powerful and comforting knowing that you’re not the only one suffering or struggling, or feeling a certain way. People often talk about the loneliness of leadership, and it is for this reason that we need to ensure we have good friends with us, in order that we are able to persevere, not quit and actually enjoy the role we’re in.

So let me pose to you the question - Who’s in your circle?

And …

What can you do today to strength the friendships you have?

Do you need to cultivate more friendships and give more time to meeting up with friends?

When you meet your friends do you welcome questions that will challenge and provoke your thinking? Sometimes our friends need to be asked to do this and given the permission to do so.

Are you making time for laughter, relaxation and fun with good friends?

As Epicurus stated “of all the means which are procured by wisdom to ensure happiness throughout the whole of life, by far the most important is the acquisition of friends.” - Principal Doctrines.