Warning signs

 Having said that, there had been a clunking noise for quite a while. At first, I noticed it every time I drove. Then gradually I became used to it. Eventually, I barely heard it at all. I just carried on driving. 

Except it wasn’t fine. 

The call came from the garage later that afternoon. My car needed significant repairs. It was unsafe to drive and they were keeping it in the garage. And yes - it was going to be expensive. 

Honestly, I was shocked. Then I was annoyed. But if I was honest with myself, I had no one to blame but myself. I had ignored the warning signs because they had become familiar. What should have prompted action had simply become ‘normal’. 

(This year, I’m paying much closer attention to the health of my car - and yes, it was serviced on time.) 

The expense and inconvenience of neglecting my car is relatively minor compared to some of the conversations I have with leaders who treat themselves in exactly the same way. 

They know they push too hard. They notice some of the signs, such as exhaustion, irritability, difficulty switching off, poor sleep, lack of motivation, and emotional flatness, but over time these things become normal too. They adapt to living under constant pressure and begin to wear their overload as a badge of honour. 

We hear phrases like:  

• ‘That’s just the way it is.’ 

• ‘I just have to get on with it.’ 

• ‘I can handle it.’ 

• ’I’ll be fine.’ 

And to be fair, there is often some truth in those statements. Leaders do have to carry responsibility. They are expected to make difficult decisions, shoulder risk, support others, and keep moving forward under pressure. That is part of leadership. 

But it is rarely the whole truth. 

Because beneath the resilience, there is often depletion. Beneath the capability, there can be chronic stress. Beneath the performance, there may be someone running on empty and hoping they can hold it together just a little longer. 

That’s why, when we hear these phrases, it can be helpful to pause and ask: 

• Is that actually true? 

• How do you know? 

• How could you test that? 

I’ve noticed that whilst many workplaces recognise the importance of wellbeing, leaders often exclude themselves. They encourage their teams to rest, recover and create boundaries while privately believing they themselves should simply cope. 

Their expectations of themselves are often harsher than the expectations they place on anyone else. 

And again, there’s some truth about that. Leadership does require resilience. It requires endurance, courage, and sacrifice at times. But at what cost? 

Some people reading this may already be dismissing these ideas. Perhaps you’re thinking: 

• ’I’m fine.’ 

• ’I’ve been through worse.’ 

• ‘This is just a busy season.’ 

• ’People depend on me.’ 

Maybe that’s true. 

But it is still worth asking some honest questions. 

• How heavy is your mental load right now? 

• Does your mind ever truly switch off? Or are you constantly thinking about the next challenge, the next decision, the next opportunity or problem to solve? 

• How present are you with the people you care about? 

• How often do you check emails on holiday? 

• When was the last time you rested, properly rested, without feeling guilty? 

• What responsibilities are you carrying outside of work that nobody else really sees? 

Because it all adds up. 

We are incredible, complex human beings. We can be resilient, creative, courageous, committed, and productive. We can endure far more than we sometimes imagine. 

But endurance alone is not the goal. 

We also need recovery. We need awareness. We need rhythms that allow us not just to perform, but to remain healthy enough to keep growing, leading and living well over the long term. 

Ignoring the warning signs rarely makes them disappear. More often, it simply delays the moment when the cost becomes impossible to ignore. 

The healthiest leaders are not the ones who stay in their comfort zone and never feel stretched. But they are the ones who pay attention, recognise the risks and carve out the time to attend to their own needs, rest and recharge and don’t act with bravado. 

Here are some useful questions to consider how you are doing right now? 

• How would you describe your current workload and stress levels? 

• What signs of energy depletion or emotional fatigue have you noticed in yourself recently? 

• When you begin to feel overwhelmed, how do you typically respond? 

• What genuinely helps you recover and recharge? 

• What motivates you to keep pushing, even when it may cost you personally? 

• What warning signs might you currently be normalising? 

• If you continue at your current pace, what might the long-term cost be?

If you find yourself unsettled by your answers and you want to do something about it, let us know. We love to support leaders who are pursuing excellence because we believe you can be excellent leaders without sacrificing too much of yourselves.