Listening goes beyond hearing

The app I downloaded listens to the birdsong and then tells me which birds are singing. Apparently, this technology has been around for some time, but I’m usually the last to the table on these sorts of things.

For all these years, I’ve been hearing the birdsong, but I’ve not actually been listening to the specifics. I don’t have a trained ear to identify which sound belongs to which bird, but this app has revolutionised my life. Well, maybe  not revolutionised, but it has certainly enhanced it.. It’s given me the skills I need to not just hear, but to listen.

As leaders, we can at times think that because we’ve heard, we’ve listened. In truth, we’ve not listened at all. There is a big difference between hearing and listening.

Hearing is an involuntary process — a physiological one in which vibrations and noises cause the fluid in our ears to move and send the sound to the brain.

Listening, on the other hand, is voluntary, a process that requires a conscious effort to understand the sound once it gets to the brain. Hearing is a sense, and listening is a skill that we learn.

Listening has been described as a leadership superpower. That’s because of what listening unlocks.

Research has shown that when employees, stakeholders, and customers feel listened to, satisfaction, engagement, productivity, and creativity all increase. Listening shows that you value someone; it fosters respect and trust. Feeling heard, seen, and understood, is crucial — it’s about creating the environment where this can happen.

But active listening takes time, effort and discipline to master. For some of us, just listening to people’s words would be a good place to start, because we don’t give any time to this even.

But we do actually have to go way beyond the words and begin to listen to many other aspects — a person’s body language and facial expressions, tone, inflection, the silence, the situation, the context, the mood. All these things need our attention.

We even need to master the ability to listen to societal changes and current trends, so that we stay up-to-date and remain relevant.

So, what can we do to go beyond hearing to get to a place of true listening?

A few thoughts:

• Barriers and blockers - ask yourself, what stops you from listening?  

  There are many reasons we don’t listen and we need to reflect honestly on this. It could be a time problem - we’re rushing around, hurrying from one thing to another. Maybe it’s anxiety or prejudice, it could be self-centredness or a feeling of superiority. Whatever it is, take time to ponder and address the issue. 

• Make time - if time is an issue then schedule time in the diary just like you would a meeting.

  Also, make time to be on your own and listen to your own thoughts and allow the silence of thinking to be a voice.

• Incorporate more listening into what you already do - recently a CEO we’ve been working with has decided that they would come out of their own private office and work alongside the people. This will give more time to listen and show value and care.

• Consider who/what you’re listening to - we can be very good at listening to certain people or very good in certain situations.

  To listen well, everyone needs to be listened to.

• Give your full focus and attention to people - listen without judgement and interruption. Instead, be curious.

• Be slow to speak.

• Observe body language and the silence.  

• Hear from everyone - in group settings ask for everyone to take a turn to share.  

• Acknowledge what is being said - show you are listening. This might mean repeating back to them what they just relayed but it is far more than this.  

• Take notes - carry a notebook around with you and constantly listen. You never know when you might want to jot something down.  

Building trust begins with listening.  

It’s one thing to be heard, it’s another to be listened to.

Listening unlocks the door to a new world.