Conviction vs Compassion

We know that it is a leader's responsibility not just to make decisions but to make the really tough ones. Leaders don't become leaders by just making easy decisions, anyone can do that.  

To make tough decisions, leaders must be aware of their own values and purpose, and their organisation’s. This will lead to high-conviction decision-making. However, deciding by high conviction alone is not enough – dictators can do that. High-conviction decisions without compassion risk being destructive. Compassion is essential. The best leaders decide with high conviction and implement with compassion.

Compassion is not the same as sympathy and empathy.  

If we have sympathy for others, we can feel for them, but we don't need to get involved, we can sympathise from a distance.  

Empathy on the other hand sees us place ourselves in the other person's shoes. We position ourselves in a stance where we choose to understand the emotions associated with whatever is going on from the other person's perspective. We feel with them not just for them.  

Empathy is certainly a quality that we would encourage in leadership but compassion goes one step further. Empathy on its own isn't quite enough, a leader who has compassion has the desire to act on those empathetic feelings in a way that truly helps the other person or people.

Compassion propels us to act in a way that is not self-centred but rather centred around others. 

As leaders, one of the biggest challenges that we face is that our high-conviction decisions can be the very source of pain and suffering for other people. For example, take the decision to restructure a service line knowing that it will need fewer people to deliver the service. Or with an internal promotion, how do you go ahead and choose between several excellent team members for the one promotion post knowing that others, despite their hard work and commitment, will lose out and be disappointed? 

So how can a leader demonstrate compassion? 

- A leader mustn’t lose sight of other people. Whilst you can acknowledge your own emotions to yourself, keep your focus on the person for whom your decision is impacting – this is not about your feelings. What do they need now and what support can you offer to them? Do you have contacts that you could refer them to for future employment? What other development opportunities are there? How else can you demonstrate their value? 

• A compassionate leader listens to understand, not just to respond or defend their decision.

• A compassionate leader clearly communicates the rationale underpinning a tough decision, other options that have been considered and why these are not the right ones. 

• A compassionate leader considers the timing of tough decisions. For example, a Christmas-time redundancy is never a compassionate decision. 

To be clear, compassion is not a soft option. It is often quicker and easier not to exercise compassion. Compassion demands more of leaders than simply making a decision. Compassion takes strength and skill which leaders learn when they choose to practise it in all their decision-making.