New Year, Same Wonderful You

And that, I believe, can be a source of strength; of both comfort and challenge. Because so much of what makes us ‘us’ is wonderful. There are many things about you that we wouldn’t want you to change at all. Those qualities, habits, skills, competencies, traits and experiences that blend together to make you (and I) unique are overwhelmingly great. Yes, we all have some imperfections, some darker sides and flashes of impulse that don’t help us. But at the core and in the main, we are quite wonderful creatures.

Here’s my appeal for the year - and in fact, the whole of our lives - ahead: let’s focus so much on our strengths, sharpening the things about us that are good and wonderful, that we crowd out distractions, temper our impulses and leave less room for the shadow side of us to have it’s way.

Does this mean taking courageous action and improving ourselves? Yes! However, the quality of the motivation that it takes to focus on strengths is different -  more positive and often enjoyable - than the harsher and usually short lived effort to ‘stop doing those bad things’. A nuance, perhaps, but an incredibly important one.

What could this look like in practice? Here are three ideas:

• If you’re good at coming up with new ideas at work, then make even more time and space to think. That might mean saying “no” to projects or meetings that are status-quo focused, which in turn may require empowering someone else. Or closing your door sometimes. Or choosing not to get involved in every dramatic situation.  Or scheduling time away from the office to think without distraction. To focus on the strength of creative thinking, make more time to think.

• If engaging others and communicating well are strengths, then spend even more time with your people.  Work to place yourself in stretching situations - public speaking, chairing the board, interview for a national publication. This might mean stopping something you’ve been responsible for over many years and letting someone else take it on. Or having the necessary conversation to propel yourself into the right role. Or, if you have little room where you’re currently working to express this skill, moving jobs entirely.

• If you have a young child or children and are a good parent (note: you are), then you’ll play with your child/children. That’s a strength. So, play more. That in turn might mean leaving the house later, or getting home earlier. Or working less over a weekend. Or drinking less so that you have more energy in the early morning (if you have early rising children). Or putting your phone away when you’re playing. Or allowing yourself to be a bit more silly sometimes.  To focus on the strength of play, crowd out the unproductive stuff that gets in the way.

This is less about changing our entire personalities or upheaving our whole lives and more about recognising the wealth of wonder that we each already possess and allowing that to shine even more brightly.

To take this further, here are three helpful guidelines:

1. Focus first on character. The quality of a person rests in their character far more than their achievements. Coming second in a race with integrity is better than winning by cheating.  You already have some wonderful character qualities. Take a moment to identify them - the healthy character qualities that you recognise within yourself, or that you aspire to - and then focus on strengthening those. It can be helpful to routinely reflect on how you have exercised character strengths, e.g. over the last week. It can also be helpful to actively pursue your desired character qualities. For example, people that value integrity tend to hold firmer boundaries than those who don’t.

2. Pursue mastery of something that you care about. If you have a technical proficiency (that you care about), invest yourself in sharpening it; be the best banker, lawyer, insurance specialist, designer, midwife, communications expert, chef that your company has ever known. That will mean constant learning, giving your time and perhaps some of your own money to a course, finding a mentor, going to a relevant conference, asking for feedback, being tested.  Crucially, this means removing distractions; things that might feel good but are getting in the way.   Mastery doesn’t arrive without focussed effort.

3. Slow down. This may feel counterintuitive but too often we undo ourselves when we’re rushing. Haste is usually a signal that we’ve packed too much in, which puts us at risk of tiredness and distraction, which in turn makes it easier for us to revert to impulsive reaction rather than proactive self-leadership.

Here’s to 2026 being the most wonderful year yet!