To grow, let go

However we define ‘growth’ - in character, skill, understanding, depth in a relationship, business reach, impact in the community - we simply cannot carry everything we currently hold with us to the next level. Not, at least, if we are growing to any significant extent.

Dan Sullivan and Dr Benjamin Hardy take this idea even further, proposing that “10X is easier than 2X” when it comes to growth. Whilst they are particularly oriented to entrepreneurialism, the premise that, to achieve leaps forward we must be willing to let at least some of our present successes go, rings true.

• To make a home, we leave one.

• To accept a new perspective, we lay down a belief.

• To excel in a competency, we leave simple problems behind in the pursuit of more complex.

• To build courage, we shun what’s comfortable and choose uncertainty.

I can observe this in leadership. Those who are wedded to their conventions struggle to grow their impact once they have achieved a desired goal. They arrive and then stick.   Whereas those who are growth minded move through their work with greater agility, passing on successes (not just problems) to others in order to create the time and energy to press forward to another, larger, objective. 

Holding on to things that have served us well is understandable, reasonable in fact. I feel it myself. Why place ourselves under the pressure of potential failure when what we currently have is working just fine? Why reflect on our emotions, wrestling with the dissonance between our intentions and actions when we’re fundamentally good people, especially when compared with ‘those others’ (whoever they might be).  Why give up those qualifications that took sweat and tears to attain?

The answer is, of course, we don’t have to. We can stay where we are quite comfortably, doing similar things with similar people, perhaps gaining just a little more here and there, and be perfectly well.

But we run the real risk that we will miss out on being fully uniquely “us”, leaving us feeling just a little (or a lot) unfilled. It’s not just the missed opportunities that might be irksome, it’s the sense at the core of our beings that we’ve compromised the very best of ourselves for the sake of comfort. Sure, we can salve that gap for a while with activity and reward, but when we’re honest with ourselves, we know we’ve over-rationalised the familiar and under-estimated the joy in stretching ourselves forward once again.

On top of which, others miss out; there’s a world out there that desperately needs all of us to be at our authentic best. Deepening in character is a hallmark of human progression. Making a positive, lasting difference to others is the mark of an excellent leader. The two go hand in hand.

Fear is not of itself the problem. Fear, in it’s proper place, is an essential emotion that helps us to avoid recklessness. It prompts healthy activity like research, training and experimentation. It’s when fear is misdirected that we get into trouble; fear of losing status, of others mocking us or of being seen as a failure are some examples. Honestly, I’ve felt them all and sometimes still do. In service to our ego, we are (understandably) tempted to cling on to who and what we know and become closed to new ideas and the effort it takes to learn new things.

We limit ourselves. We limit our influence. We might be and do some good. But, if we’re not attentive to this, we miss true excellence.

What does it take for us to continue stretching forward?

• A sense of what makes us unique and how this can help others. Words like meaning and purpose have become somewhat overdone recently, however that does not mean that they’re redundant. Recognising what’s meaningful, honestly, and the positive difference that we want to make helps us to keep focussed on the bigger idea. It’s difficult to settle for “OK” when we are leading a meaningful life.

• Allowing our milestones to be just that; markers along the journey of life. A qualification gained, financial result achieved, trade sale completed, hospital opened, child born, law passed; these are all great moments but we can’t dwell there for too long. We move on.

• Choose to spend time with and listen to people who hold different opinions to ours. This gives us a chance to let go of beliefs that are not quite so true as we once thought.

• Actively pass successes over to others. It’s impossible to progress in career and still do all the work that we did from day one. No-one wants that. And yet, we can cling to some types of work far longer than we need to - and then complain that we have no time to do what we really want to do. 

Here’s a tactic that I’m trying myself. Imagine the most amazing “ask”, something that you would dearly love to do and that would be stretching. Do you have capacity to say “yes”, if asked, today? If not, there’s a problem; you’re doing too many good-old things rather than pressing towards great-new things.

As I type this, it sounds simple, but simple does not mean that it’s easy. It takes courage to pass over the reins, but we limit everything unless we do so.

What is your next stretch and what do you need to let go of if you are to get there?