The force is not always with you

Do you have one of these? Ours has become so stuffed with the flotsam of our daily lives that it’s become nearly impossible to open. I found myself attempting to force in yet another tube of Tippex last week, so much so that I pulled the front of the door off by the handle. On the plus side, I found a radiator key for the rads we replaced five years ago!  

Force. We have been exploring force as a team and how sometimes force can (and must) be applied if we are to achieve good outcomes and in other times - most others - attempting to force things can have the very opposite effect. In fact, ‘forcing it’ is rarely a good leadership strategy.  For example:  

• Forcing someone to take on tasks that they are very unhappy to perform is likely to result in errors and a spiral in morale. 

• Forcing a supplier to slash their prices will probably lead to less attention from them, a deterioration in service and potentially the total loss of supply.

• Forcing your agenda will stifle input from others, undermining creativity and compromising competitiveness.

A force-based approach to leadership can be experienced in more subtle ways too. It’s the application of external pressure, usually with threats, to compel others to act. ‘If you don’t do this thing that I want, you won’t get promoted/your bonus/listened to anymore.’

In a drive to get the results they want, force-orientated leaders will press and push people to deliver very specific outcomes; ‘I want this done by that date.’ Where ‘force’ is the go-to leadership strategy, the organisation becomes consumed only by the issue that the leader cares about. Everything else goes by the wayside, regardless of its value and potential.  

Whilst there are a small number of exceptions, anything of real value cannot be forced. As in nature, sustainable growth cannot be forced. Beauty, joy, delight, positivity, creativity, high morale, trust, enriching relationships - the things that make us truly human - cannot be forced. Forced fun is no fun at all! 

Force-orientated leaders erode these qualities, sabotaging relationships in the pursuit of outcomes. We see this often with the more control-obsessed leaders. They are so immersed in what matters to them, that they fail to see other people’s problems and perspectives, blundering all over their relationships and destroying trust and morale. Even in sales, applying force to get someone to make a buying decision might achieve a one-time sale but is unlikely to create a delighted, loyal, repeat customer.

There is a better way. It’s the way of nurture, using influence and power to foster such a healthy environment that growth and goodness inevitably emerge.

As Brené Brown, researcher and author suggests, using power ‘with’ people is a far more effective and enjoyable way than using power ‘over’ people.

This is not the loss or abrogation of power, far from it. It’s the exercise of power to lead people to a better future, rather than drive them to achieve an arbitrary end. This, surely, is what excellent leadership is all about.

What might this look like in real life? Happily, we know and work with many leaders in the Channel Islands who lead in this way. Here are some of the qualities that we observe. 

• They listen before they respond. They listen to learn new things and to test and challenge their own presumptions. As a result, they are willing to take new evidence on board.

• They actively build diverse leadership teams, desiring a breadth of experiences rather than a narrow demographic. Team dynamics take more effort than might otherwise be the case, but the depth of discussion is far richer.

• They show a genuine interest in the people they are speaking with.

• They are alert to what might be going on in people’s lives. They remember people’s names and the situations they are going through. 

• They hold their unhelpful energy in check. It’s not that they don’t get frustrated or worried, it’s that they don’t throw their anger or anxiety all over their people.

• They practice patience. In truth, many are naturally impatient, but they have learned the art of choosing patience over haste. For example, they pause before messaging late in the day, choose not to chase people up too soon (even if the issue is on their mind) and schedule time to think complex issues through. 

As we head towards the year-end, we can see that some leaders are tempted towards the use of force, pressing to meet targets by 31st December. Hitting one number by one date has become, it seems, an expected norm despite the risks to team morale and any sense of long-term perspective. Avoid this trap! Instead, we can all pursue the better way; leading with the people entrusted to us, rather than over them.