Excellent leaders possess drive - part one

These are the “go-to” actions and thoughts when someone is presented with or anticipating a stimulus like excitement, worry, delight and fear. The more we revert to our habits, the more adept we become at them to the point where our responses are so natural to us that, like breathing, they become unconscious.    

Our default responses can be both healthy and unhealthy, positive and negative.

The quality of our habits is keenly informed by the truth in our beliefs, which in turn are influenced by our experiences.

There is a pay-off, even for untrue and unhelpful beliefs, that reinforces the habit, setting us up to repeat the action regardless of whether it is objectively positive or not.  

These habits significantly influence the quality of our life and leadership. The healthiest and truest motivational skills allow us to make the best decisions and behaviours, The quality of our communication, relationships and decision making, along with our ability to assess risk, make a positive difference and explore new ideas, rests on the quality of our habits.  

The skill of drive.  

Drive is one of the skills that is essential to a good life and effective leadership. It is the desire and action to “go get” good things and to pursue opportunities. It’s associated with passion - which is a trait shared by extroverts and introverts alike; imagining a better future and putting effort into achieving it.   

Some examples are: 

• Booking a table at a favourite restaurant and enjoying an amazing dinner with good friends; 

• Earning money for a deposit on a house; 

• Training for a marathon; 

• Completing a qualification that’s important for a desired career; 

• Applying and interviewing for a great job; 

• Using a gift voucher for a spa break; 

• Skydiving for the sheer fun of it; 

• Buying the hard-to-find collectable in an auction; 

• Winning an award; and 

• Queuing early and securing a ticket for an exciting performance. 

The underlying beliefs that support these habits (which in turn become unconscious skills) include things like these:

• “There are treasures in life to be discovered.” 

• “Carpe diem; seize the day.” 

• “Don’t just talk about it, do it.” 

• “Good-enough isn’t all there is, it can be great.” 

• “Never settle for ‘meh’.” 

• “The early bird catches the worm.” 

• “Ask and you shall receive.” 

• “I love to win.” 

• “I can make good friends.” 

• “It’s worth the effort to get somewhere better.” 

• “Live is for living.”  

Whatever the source of these and similar beliefs (usually upbringing), they provide the foundation on which healthy habits are formed. 

Resign 

We can also develop habits of apathy - not being interested or bothered - which comprise our ability to enjoy life. It is possible to become skillful in the unhealthy habit of ‘resign’, harming our ability to achieve a sense of fulfilment and causing us to miss out on some exciting experiences and good opportunities. People who are likely to give up have elevated resign habits.  

Some examples and associated beliefs are these:  

• Action: Letting a gift voucher for a restaurant expire. 

  • Possible belief: “It’s too indulgent to go to that restaurant.” 

• Action: Not applying for a promotion when one becomes available. 

  • Possible belief: “I’ll never get it, there’s no point applying.” 

• Action: Turning down an opportunity to play guitar in a band. 

  • Possible belief: “I’m not that good, I’ll be shown up.” 

• Action: Declining an invitation to a dinner party with friends. 

  • Possible belief: “They don’t really want me there, I’m a spare part.” 

• Action: Not completing a qualification. 

  • Possible belief: “I know what I’m doing and don’t need a piece of paper to prove it.” 

• Action: Not joining the Saturday morning art class. 

  • Possible belief: “I should be giving myself to my family for those 2 hours.” 

• Action: Not eating a healthy lunch. 

  • Possible belief: “I'm too busy, I haven’t got time.” 

• Action: Staying in a toxic workplace. 

  • Possible belief: “Better the devil you know.”  

People who resign quickly will struggle to achieve the good things in life. They tend to be unhappier than most. They reject opportunities and exciting experiences, feel like a failure or unworthy and reinforce those feelings through their actions. They struggle to imagine a better life and have little vision for a better workplace. Where such habits are entrenched, the person will often undermine other people’s pursuits, ridiculing the effort that they are putting in to improving themselves, their relationships and their work.

There is a ‘payoff’ - a feel-good - that is gained from these resign habits. The problem is that these payoffs are short-lived. It might sound counterintuitive that we can gain a benefit from being apathetic, however here are some illustrations:

• Not entering a race provides short term relief from anticipated feelings of failure: “What if I don’t finish the race?” 

• Rejecting a compliment saves the anticipated shame of being shown up in the future. 

• Turning down a spa break in favour of more work gives a boost to esteem: “I’m needed here.”  

• Not studying for an exam and watching Netflix instead removes today’s frustration.  

• Not putting yourself forward for promotion means that you can’t be rejected.  

• Staying home rather than joining the yoga class underpins a sense of duty: “They need me more, even for that hour, than I need yoga.” 

• Giving up a much-needed restful weekend to help a friend to gain their affection.  

Faulty and unhelpful beliefs hold us back. It takes intention and courage to choose effort and risk in the pursuit of a better life and retrain responses to potential opportunities rather than default to resignation. 

We work with people, drawing from their psychometric data, to help achieve that; contact us to find out more.  

The way that the skills of drive and resign play out in a leadership setting will inform the quality of the organisation. Our second article sets out some ideas here.