Caught in a trap

• Trapped in an industry that has lost its allure. 

• Trapped in a job role that they are not enjoying. 

• Trapped in an unhealthy environment, whether the whole organisation or a specific team. 

This sense of being stuck is a source of significant stress and strain. It stifles their creativity, crushes their enjoyment of work, and interferes with their relationships. The energy it takes them to get through the day is immense, exacting a toll on their health. 

Finding ourselves caught in a trap can be easier than we think. For some of us, we can eagerly pursue a career with high hopes and a presumption of how it will be ‘great’. Others may drift into a career. Plenty of people have shared how they didn’t intend to enter their particular industry and just fell into it decades ago. 

Either way, the rewards become increasingly seductive as we progress, whether promotions, pay or profile. As time goes on, the glossy veneer lifts and we experience some unpleasant realities. But by now, we can feel locked in with decent salaries, long-notice contracts and a valuable reputation in our fields. Before we know it, years have passed, reinforcing the problem. 

Of course, for many (thankfully), our long careers are not actually a problem. If we enjoy the work we do and the people we do it with, there is no trap at all. Quite the opposite. 

It’s when we are giving the best of ourselves to something we don’t believe in or with people who are harmful to us that we have the beginnings of trouble. This becomes acute if we feel that we are missing the opportunity to do something that we know we’d love, that would spark our creative energy that would spring from our heart and soul. 

There is good news for people who feel stuck; there is hope. And it takes an essential human quality - courage. Before we get to that, let’s consider why we might stay stuck. 

• Money: We all need some money to exist in the modern world. It’s an obvious thing to say. Many people must work in roles they don’t especially enjoy just to pay the rent. 

• Loyalty: Loyalty and commitment can be excellent qualities. Can we possess an excess of loyalty? I hear these things from time to time that hint towards unhealthy loyalty: 

  • “I can’t leave; the place would fall apart without me.” 

  • “If I go, what would happen to these poor people left behind?” 

  • “I’ve worked with such and such from the beginning; I can’t leave them now.” 

  • “I don’t want them to think badly of me, so I’ll stay.” 

• Status: If we’ve spent years curating subject matter expertise and a strong reputation in a field, the thought of abandoning that for a different pursuit can be daunting, to say the least. 

• The devil we know: the vast majority of people prefer stability over uncertainty. Even with a situation that causes us suffering, familiarity can be more acceptable to us than the unknown. 

Without dismissing the hard realities, there is often a better way. And it takes a deep human quality to reach this narrow path: courage. Courage is taking action in the face of fear, which has the potential but not the guarantee of creating a better outcome. If there were guarantees, it wouldn’t be courage, it would just be a decision. 

It takes courage to overcome the fear of:  

• losing financial security, 

• losing friends, 

• letting go of years of effort, 

• changing lifestyle, 

• what others think of us, and 

• learning from scratch. 

But without courage, we won’t make a change. We’ll stay trapped, going through the motions, pretending that the work is OK when it really isn’t. Growth requires change. Change requires courage. 

If we’re feeling trapped, what can help us? Here are a few ideas: 

1) Do you remember the hopes and dreams you had when you were younger? Sure, some might have been wild fantasies, yet they will have all pointed towards activity that you will find energising. Did you have a love of adventure that is now on mute? Or did you have a love of animal conservation, helping the poor, teaching, performing in bands, dancing (each of these has arisen in recent conversations with people)? 

• Is there room in our current job to bring some of these ideas into our work? 

• Can we start something in our spare time that will be energising? 

• What sort of roles would tap into these earlier years’ dreams and who can we meet in these fields that can help us to explore them? 

2) Test your financial beliefs. We believe we need a certain amount of money before we can make a move, but sometimes that’s not quite so true. Plus, a move to do something that we’d love does not automatically require a dramatic drop in earnings. There are ways to earn a living - perhaps even a very decent living - from work that we truly enjoy. 

• What changes to our lifestyle can we make to reduce our baseline costs? 

• Who can help us understand the earnings potential from work that we’d love? 

• Is there a hybrid that we can work towards; part time secure employment plus part time experimentation? 

• Can we put a monetary value on the freedom, enjoyment and creativity that we would feel by escaping the trap? Does that help to bring some perspective? 

3) Just try something. For me, this is the best and strongest advice. If it doesn’t go as hoped, we will work it out. If it all goes wrong, we might reduce our future pension pot, but what’s the point in storing up future treasures by making ourselves unhappy? Because who, near the end of their lives, regretted living true to themselves? 

If you’re not convinced, read The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware. It’s moving, challenging and inspiring all at once. 

Take the step. Make the move. Get out more. Leave well if you can, but if you can’t, leave nonetheless. The world needs your unique talents; please don’t let them lay buried a moment longer.